the night is getting late and im kinda tired after being out for the whole day, trng and match.

but somehow i still feel like blogging and it isn't a good sign. 've been thinking about much stuffs the whole day, so i shld say that i'm physically AND mentally tired.

well, guess i'll just blog abt how i feel cause i've got nth much to lose now since i've lost you anyway.
wo shu le.

"L O V E" now seems like just any 4 alphabets from A-Z. it doesn't gives me any feeling, nor would i want to know more abt it, guess its numbed up there on the upper left side of the chest. i think another 4 letter word like "S H I T" would give me more feeling. who knows, i might react to it with digust or i may just agree with you.

yes, one's reason would be that you can't blame gravity for falling in love. yet someone would oppose you telling you tt that is utterly crap. ok fine i don't really know what i'm talking abt too. anyway, knowing that the hands you once held would be held by someone else, the shoulders you once cried on, would be for another's use, the eyes which you once can't stop looking into would be for yet another soul to mermesize, i just can't explain in words how tt feels. and yes, the worst feeling is missing someone when he/she is just right beside you.

i'm the loser who just can't let go, congrats to you if you have done so. how much i want to let it go but it just somehow comes back again. thanks for still treating me as a friend at least, cause i thought that we would be strangers for the rest of our lives. actually there's nothing much that i can do, yeah smile. maybe that's what i do best.
people, don't come asking me if i'm fine or if i'm ok. cause seriously i'm not. i'm not the superwoman who generously give best wishes or hope that you 2 would live happily ever after. of course, i have to do that on the outside cause i would not want another soul who loves you deeply to feel like how i'm feeling now. cause this feeling SUCKS. but on the inside, maybe what i really think is another matter. i toldcha, im not any superwoman. i'm just a human being who do have feelings.

call me selfish, call me an idiot. yes, i really regret taking you for granted. i regretted those squabbles. i regretted falling aslp when talking to you. i regret not having enough time for you. i regret.... but is there any use at all? so girl, if you are seeing this, don't do all these. cause this is one good guy to treasure which i've missed. seriously deep in my heart i hope that he'll be happy. but this time, not me. yes, the fact is that i can't do anything at all.

i know that you wouldn't go for short term relationships. you must be really loving her alot, hence taking this step. obviously i wouldn't like someone who likes someone whom i like. duh~ it's just a very normal human reaction. so guess i'll rather stay away.



see that space there, it was for you.


for now, it'll be staying this way.

yes, cause i still believe that i'll be able to carry on without you. and i'll stop lying, cause you can never be just another friend. maybe my relationship's a failure, but nonetheless, i've got great friends around! thanks all for being there.
remember, that's why in the first place i wouldn't want it to happen, cause this is too much for me to lose.



i'll be leaving for thailand later at abt 11am. jiayou for the matches when im not around k! promise to go there and *pray hard hard* for you all. i'll miss you guys. don't miss me too much. =p